A week before leaving for the beach, I had said that I wasn't going to wear my bikini at the beach. I was at a lower weight than I'd worn them before, but didn't feel so great about myself. I took them with me just in case. A few kind words about my parents about how good I was looking (fully clothed of course) and I decided to take the plunge. I only have one where the bottom was big enough so I did still wear my tankini as well. Above is a shot of me lounging in that.
I know it's not great, but I take comfort in the fact that I've seen people who are quite a bit heavier than me wearing them and if they have the confidence, I sure can too. My legs have never been great, and for only being four and a half months after having a baby my belly could be a whole lot worse.
Two years ago, I weighed almost the exact same weight (down to 0.2lbs difference) and I was way more comfortable in my own skin. It was, however, 17 months after Brady was born and all the skin had shrunk back into place.
I feel a whole lot better about things when I compare what I looked like after having Brady to now. I wouldn't have even considered donning a bikini four months after he was born. I was even wearing an XL tankini top. On the left I was 183lbs four months after Brady at the beach, and the left is now at just under 162lbs. Even though I started heavier this time, I made sure not to let the gain get out of control and have been working hard since being cleared for the gym. I can be proud of myself for that. Next year, I would like to be down 20lbs more than this year, which should be totally attainable if I hit my goal of 148lbs by Christmas. I want to not have to be self-conscious and wondering what other people are thinking of me. I've been obese and I should be proud that I can show off my transformation in progress.