Bathing Suits

There is no time when a person is more vulnerable than when they're wearing a bathing suit. Even the most conservative bathing suit shows more skin than most people show on a daily basis. For me, as a child, wearing a bathing suit was second nature and I never thought anything of it. I was a swimmer through middle school and wore my racing suits with pride. With those suits, it was the tighter the better.

When I reached high school, things changed. I was done swimming competitively, and tankinis were the newest thing in bathing suits. I was too self-conscious to wear a two-piece before, but the tankini was the perfect medium, since I could now get different sizes for the top and bottom. Back then the bottom was bigger than the top for me and now it has been reversed.

A whole year after my weight loss journey began, I felt confident enough to bare my stomach. My weight had always been more towards my legs than my stomach, but you have to feel good about yourself to put yourself out there. There are still always times when I look at skinnier people than me and think that I shouldn't be wearing it. The summer right after I had Brady, I was still up 20lbs and still had the baby belly, so when we went to Myrtle Beach, I was back in the tankinis.

I knew we were going to the beach this year and even at the beginning of April, I was up 10lbs from where I am now. I knew that I had to get drastic if I wanted to get back in the bikinis. If I didn't, I'd have to buy new suits, because my post-Brady tankinis were made to fit me when I was breastfeeding. Fortunately, my efforts paid off and I got back into my suits, but I was still self-conscious. I would go to the pool and see skinnier women who were all covered up and I could just hear them thinking that I had nerve. Plus, after a baby, my stomach has never been the same, even if I'm below the weight I was before I got pregnant.

It's not so bad standing . . .

Or from the back . . .

But sitting, it's not so good.